Eh...

Ever had one of those days when you just feel... eh?  That's how I've been feeling recently.  Not bad, not good.  Just 'eh'. I'm getting bored, and I don't like it.

I'm getting bored with my church.  I love that there are great changes going on, but I'm not really feeling the music ministry right now.  I feel like I'm not growing anymore.

Honestly, I'm getting bored with the other music ministries that I'm a part of.  I haven't said anything to anyone, but I'm feeling stuck.  There's no growth.  I feel like I'm not being used to my fullest capacity.  Granted, I know that these are not my groups and I know my place in them.  However, I still like there's no room for me to grow anymore.

As one of the music leaders at church, it's my responsibility to help those who are following me, grow and mature in Christ.  I thank God that I'm able to do this, but I'm feeling drained and empty. I've been going to Christian Leadership College, and I've been taking these Lay Leader classes as well.  Although I would take the classes again, I still feel like I'm missing something.  I can't place my finger on it though.

Recently, I officially became a candidate for ordained ministry.  I should be excited about this, but I'm not.  I'm not sad... just feeling, 'eh'.  I'm feeling more of that wonderful quote, "To whom much is given, much is required."  I oftentimes wonder if I really have the gifts that others see in me.  If I do, then why don't I feel like it?  Why am I losing interest in Praise & Worship at my church?  More importantly, why do I feel like just giving up on my ministry altogether?